Faith Through the Journey

How do you prepare for a second major surgery in the span of 7 weeks? The first thing I did was to recover from surgery #1, obviously! Since then, I’ve been through speech therapy, gone to my husband’s annual work convention, taken a trip to Hilton Head, South Carolina, accomplished several projects at home, such as defrosting my freezer, cleaning out closets, running errands I’d put off, cooking and baking ahead for my anticipated recovery time from surgery #2, and finishing putting together my daughter’s wedding photo album. In short, I’ve kept busy doing those things I considered within my control. Like most humans, I like to think that there are certain things in my life over which I have control. So it stands to reason that I would engage in such behavior when I’m getting ready to face a situation that is COMPLETELY out of my control.

On Thursday morning when I report to the hospital, and even more so when the anesthesiologist puts me under so that the doctor can perform the neck dissection to remove the lymph nodes on the left side of my neck, I will have NO control over any of that. I’ve kept my hands and mind busy so that I haven’t had much time to think about the actual surgery, which was my goal! However, the time is almost here and I can’t avoid thinking about it any longer. I don’t have any idea what to expect, and it’s disconcerting to say the very least! The doctor has told us that I will have a scar under my jawline of several inches, and there is a 10% chance that the nerve that controls the left side of my mouth could be affected so that I won’t be able to smile. I understand that he had to tell me that in full disclosure as a doctor, but it’s still hard to hear.

So what should I do, how do I get ready for this? Isaiah 26:3 says: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Making the focus of my thoughts the One who ultimately holds ALL THE CONTROL over my situation seems like a good way to spend my time between now and then! In the hours when I should be asleep but fear is interrupting my rest, I’m thankful that God told us over 300 times in His Word that we are not to fear, for HE IS WITH US. I’m also very thankful for ALL the years of Bible study I’ve enjoyed, for that Word just keeps coming back to my mind when I need to remember those promises. In  Jeremiah 31:3, God says: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness.” Trusting the One who loves me most with control of all of the circumstances of life seems like a reasonable idea. That is something I will need to remember in about 72 hours when I’m dealing with post-op pain and am tempted to wonder why I signed the consent forms for surgery! Focusing on Jesus and being thankful that there is treatment available for squamous cell carcinoma is the goal, and I’m trusting God to enable me to do just that.

“”I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2).