Faith Through the Journey

Anyone who says recovery is easy never went through it! I’m finding once again that I’m not a very patient patient, and I guess the “blessing” of my body screaming at me to stop will be one of the instruments that God uses to help me get through this process. I’m also figuring out that my 55-year-old body doesn’t recuperate the same way it did when I had the first of these surgeries 24 years ago. As difficult as it is, I’m trying to make myself do no more than is absolutely necessary. Being the kind that is, as my husband says, one who “builds Rome in a day”, I’m not making to-do lists, making myself accomplish 20 different things during the course of a day. Instead, I’m trying to listen to my body, and when the pain starts, I stop. It’s NOT a weakness to set aside my expectations of myself and do what most needs to be done–recover successfully so I don’t create setbacks that will delay the healing process.

One of the most unexpected blessings of this surgery has been the time I’ve been able to spend with each of my adult children. My gratitude that each of them has chosen to be with me during this process is immeasurable. They are incredible people, each of them, people I not only love but like and would proudly call my friends. The fact that they each made time out of their own busy lives to spend time with me is an incredible gift. My daughter-in-law and son-in-law have graciously “loaned” them to me and I greatly appreciate their sacrifice as well. My youngest daughter, who is finishing her college classwork, has juggled her work around this surgery, and that too is a huge sacrifice.  One of the incidental joys as a mother is to watch them interact as adults, sharing memories of their childhoods and how they view them now. Those memories to me are priceless, because they give me a glimpse of family moments that I thought were disastrous and I now understand that the kids viewed them very differently. They laugh hysterically over the times and episodes I thought belonged on the cutting room of the “perfect family video”. I’m so glad it didn’t scar them for life! The fact that they want to be here is so gratifying and a blessing I will not forget. Surgery isn’t necessarily an instrument I would choose to bring them together like that, but I see that God can use whatever He chooses to bring joy to the lives of His children.

So the process continues… and I can’t help but wonder what the days ahead will bring. I know that God will be with us through all of it and I will try not to run ahead of Him and miss what He wants me to learn, or set myself back physically. One day, one hour at a time…