Faith Through the Journey

It’s hard to believe that it’s been a week since the surgery. My hospital room and floor have become the center of my universe, and to say that I am ready to be back in my own home would be a very accurate statement. Both yesterday and today have been milestone marking days . Last night I was allowed the “privilege” of having popsicles, and also had half of of the staples removed from my surgical incision. Then, today was the most monumental breakthrough of this surgery: my NG tube was removed!! After struggling with this lovely instrument of torture for a week, I was set free today. I think this was the longest number of days I’ve had to have the tube in place. Aside from the surgical incision, I knew from past experience that this would be the most uncomfortable part of the recovery.

The challenge of the tube was  physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I know that sounds very odd, but they all play a part in dealing with this. The physical, of course, is pretty straightforward: there is a foreign object inside your nose and throat, and it is initially irritating and becomes more painful with each day. Mentally, dealing with the “let’s get it done” attitude blends together with the emotions that scream “I don’t like this! I want it out NOW!”  With each day that passes, you feel more and more frustrated at the seeming endless nature of this piece of the recovery process.

And then there is the spiritual piece of the puzzle. Having been down this road 5 times before, I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that I couldn’t–and wouldn’t–handle this alone. I knew that there was yet another lesson my Heavenly Father wanted me to learn. Looking back at the past week, I can see a number of times when I grew and was strengthened in my faith, but also times when I failed to keep my eyes on Jesus and gave in to frustration. I am so thankful for a loving Father who still loves me in spite of my fear and is willing to patiently teach me (again!) the lesson of waiting on His perfect timing. The times I made the deliberate choice to submit my will to His, I felt and knew that He was strengthening me to endure one more hour, one more minute, to stay in this place. Once again, I think of a song, sung many years ago by Sharalee Lucas: “Jesus, my Jesus, if I suffer pain, help me that I don’t complain, But thank you Lord, and praise You just the same.”

We’re almost through with this part of our journey. Jesus is leading us one day at a time, and we know that that is truly the ONLY way to live. He will give us His light for the next step at the point we need it. When this part of our assignment is finished, we are confident that there will be light, strength and everything else we will need for the next “adventure”!