One Christian's Perspective on Trials and Other Aspects of American Life

Archive for June, 2023

Our Children: Valuable Treasures or Social Experiments?

We live in a tangled, mixed up, broken world. This is nothing new, of course, since sin entered the world in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. We need look no further than that first sin, when Eve disobeyed God and her husband Adam joined her. The one who perpetrated the deception has been active and deceiving the human race ever since. The deception, the lies, the marks of Satan’s work being those of stealing, killing, and destroying, are rampant in the world and have been ever since he first persuaded Adam and Eve to disobey God. He also seeks to confuse, to divide and cause chaos whenever and wherever possible.

As Americans, we have seen a terrible downward spiral in our country’s moral standards, especially in the area of our children and the value of their lives. Beginning in 1973, we have seen the murder of over 60 million children before they ever took a breath, as their mothers chose to abort them. The constant, relentless attack on our children is continuing at an unprecedented rate. If we don’t value their lives before birth, is it any wonder that our children are the target of a culture of confusion, that we value our tech toys more than spending time with them, or that we either make idols of our children or expect them to fulfill us? That many who work in the schools are leaving the teaching/helping professions because the children are out of control and the parents refuse to discipline them at home or back up the school officials who have to deal with these behavior problems?

Astoundingly parents who raise concerns about what their children are being exposed to in school are being labeled as the problems, as some sort of dangerous extremists! There is no one who has a greater interest, a greater stake in the future of their children than parents, and yet even the President of the United States dares to assert that “they’re all our children!” No sir, they are not!!!!

God has much to say about children. They are gifts from Him, lives to be valued and cherished, cared for and loved. At the same time, we must shape their lives because they are human and need guidance as to what is and isn’t acceptable if they want to live in a world with other people. God gave this privilege and responsibility to parents primarily, and to those who will come alongside them to teach and train their children so that they will be ready to function in the world. But above all, THEY ARE CHILDREN!!! They are not capable of making potentially life-altering decisions about drastic medical procedures, nor should they even be exposed to the possibility of doing so. As parents everywhere will tell you, their children go through many phases and change their minds often about activities, ambitions, friends, etc.

One of the most disturbing aspects of current society is the complete confusing of gender being forced upon children. God said in Genesis that He created TWO genders, MALE AND FEMALE. That gender is determined from the moment of conception, and THAT WILL NOT CHANGE!! Children should never have to deal with ANYONE trying to confuse them as to whether they’re a boy or a girl!!! And any adult who encourages a child to lie to their parents about this is one who should NEVER be allowed near children!!!!! Jesus found children extremely valuable, and He wanted them to come to Him. He was also very clear about how children should be treated. “But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck” (Matthew 18:6). We must protect our children, not turn them into some kind of social experiment. They are gifts and should be treated as such.

Another of the very sad and even sometimes dangerous consequences of the transgender movement is the unfairness happening to young women in competitive athletics. Biological men who are now claiming to identify as women are besting biological women in competition, in which, of course, they possess an unfair physical advantage. All of their years of work now mean nothing because they are competing against biological males, and some have even been injured in competition because of course the men possess so much more muscle mass. If these men have gone through puberty, they are no longer on a level playing field with the women against whom they compete. There have also been incidents of sexual assaults in locker rooms where biological men who are now identifying as women are sharing facilities with biological women. All of the strides women have made in athletics are in danger of being lost because they can be rendered meaningless. Once again, the consequences of the confusion being perpetrated upon our children when they just want to do something as simple as go out and play sports is robbing them of the simplicity of childhood!

This is a battle for our children and grandchildren, and we cannot afford to lose to the enemy of our souls. I Peter 5:8, 9 says: “Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith…” We’re fighting against the spiritual darkness and forces of evil, and we need to fight on our knees. God loves our children and grandchildren even more than we do, and He gave them to us as His very best gifts.

The Day I Became The Oldest

Birth order and family positioning are part of our identity from a young age. There are stereotypes about oldest, middle and youngest children and their behaviors and characteristics. In our nuclear family of five, I was the middle child. There were my parents, my two brothers and myself, the only girl, which added a different dimension to the “middle child” identity too.

Over the course of time, our family grew through marriages and children being born, and that family grew to number 15. In 2002, our dad, Bob Whitcomb, our beloved patriarch, went to be with His Savior and family dynamics changed. My mom, Jan, continued as the steady matriarch but my older brother, Dr. Randy Whitcomb, began to fill more of a “patriarchal” role as well. The family kept on growing and pretty soon there were 31 of us!

Then in 2020, our much-loved brother Randy lost his hard and bravely-fought battle with ALS and joined Dad in heaven. Randy’s illness and homegoing left a huge hole in our family and our mom struggled with it especially as she approached her 90th birthday. COVID was also hard for Mom as she wasn’t allowed to have us come into her senior living facility. Once restrictions were lifted, I made plans to go to visit her.

However, before I could make my planned visit, a phone call from my younger brother sped up my trip and I needed to get there quickly. Once I arrived, I knew that this wasn’t something that Mom would recover from, that we were indeed looking at end of life decisions and comfort care. I was very grateful for the opportunity to have those days by her bed to read the Psalms to her, to tell her I loved her, to just talk to her. As her family, we did NOT want her to suffer or prolong her life for our sakes, just because we weren’t ready to let her go. The last night before I left her bedside, I told her that if she was tired, if she was ready to go and be with Dad and Randy, it was okay with us for her to go. She wasn’t conscious, but I believe she heard me nonetheless. Then I spoke the words of the Numbers blessing over her: “Now may the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.” When the phone rang at 4 am the next morning, I knew she was with Jesus.

That was also the day I turned 65. I think everybody felt worse for me than I did for myself, but I knew how Mom was suffering and I was grateful that she was finally free. I couldn’t help but feel anything but relief for the end of her suffering and gratitude for her wonderful life. One of my sweet friends made the observation that Mom had two of her greatest life moments on June 6: she had me and she saw Jesus face to face! The days ordained for Mom ended on June 6, 2021, and that was His plan for her.

During the following week as we were working on carrying out Mom’s plans for her funeral-she was very thorough!-we did have to make some decisions. My brother deferred to me and made the statement “You’re the oldest now.” That was my first reality shock! My immediate reaction was “I don’t know how to be the oldest! I’ve always been the middle!” In reality, however, I was now indeed the oldest not only of the three children, but of the original nuclear family of 5.

For as long as I can remember, our parents prayed for each of us daily by name. When my dad went to be with Jesus (and I think he talked to Him about us personally!) my mom continued to pray for each of us. We kept her busy because the family grew and her prayer time increased with each new name. Now that Dad, Mom and Randy are home with Jesus, who is going to call out these names in prayer? It didn’t take long for me, the now OLDEST, to realize that this prayer mantle was now being passed to me. While I don’t have a monopoly on praying for them, I do feel a strong conviction and responsibility to my family to keep bringing them to the Lord, as my parents did for many years. In Isaiah 6:8, the prophet says “I’ll go! Send me!” Being the oldest is an unfamiliar lane for me, but I am blessed to call each one my family and to faithfully pray for each one! It’s a really beautiful privilege!