Faith Through the Journey

Ever since I can remember, music has been a big part of my life. As a young child, I sang in the church Christmas programs and school programs. At 7 years old, I began taking piano lessons and continued through college, earning an associate’s degree in music. I’ve been part of choirs, ensembles, done solos in both voice and piano. Four year of college choir tours was one of the best parts of my life.  Suffice it to say that music is very important to me! I’ve been blessed for the past 4 years to be part of the vocal worship team at our church. After my last surgery for Crohn’s Disease, I was FINALLY well enough to be able to stand and sing for an extended period of time, and I have been so blessed by being part of the family of musicians we have at our church.

It was no surprise to me that when I received the diagnosis of cancer I turned not only to God’s Word but to Christian music as well for encouragement. As we learned more about the kind of cancer I had and the surgical treatment that was required, I asked the doctor about whether or not my speech would ever return to normal. Then I asked him about singing. At that point, he offered no guarantees of returning to any kind of normal activity that would require speech. Those were very hard words to hear, to say the least! One of the songs we sang not long afterwards contained the phrase “My heat will sing Your praise again”. Of course, praise must start in the heart, but deep down inside I was truly hopeful that my mouth would one day work well enough to praise my Lord with singing as well.

Last weekend I was thinking about a song that we sang a number of years ago, entitled “Your Grace is Sufficient”. The chorus says this: “Your grace is sufficient for me, Your strength is made perfect when I am weak, All that I cling to I lay at Your feet, Your grace is sufficient for me.” Have I been willing to let go of that desire to sing again, or have I been clinging too tightly to it? If His grace is indeed sufficient, then I need to be ready to let go and lay that desire at Jesus’ feet. If He chooses to give it back to me, then I will praise Him with my mouth again. But even if I never feel comfortable singing in public again because of my altered speech, I will still praise Him with my whole heart.

“To God alone be the glory, to God alone be the praise. Everything  I say and do, let it be all for You, the glory is Yours alone.” Aaron Shust