On the Subject of Bullying…
Recently I was reminded of a difficult experience I went through in junior high. I think the education classification now is middle school, but the age/development period is the same. It’s not a new or unique experience, but for everyone who has gone through it, it can be very painful. Today they even do public service announcements about it. It’s bullying, and I dealt with it first hand in the 8th grade, art class to be precise.
For whatever reason, two of the three other students at my art table decided that verbally abusing me would be a source of amusement for them. Because I wouldn’t fight back, they saw it as a green light to keep up their unkind words throughout the entire class period. Granted, I had braces then, and I wore glasses, so I was the typical adolescent that wasn’t terribly attractive and somewhat awkward. However, there is NEVER any justification for any sort of assault upon ANYONE.
I was thankful that this class was only one hour of the day for one semester, and these girls weren’t aggressive outside of that class. I don’t really remember if we even had any other classes together. I had the dubious distinction of being part of the “AT” students, those who were in accelerated academic classes. One of the smart geeks…I just tried to do my best and work hard.
The art class was, fortunately for me, a jewelry making class rather than one that required great drawing and painting skills! My children will testify to the fact that my drawing skills are limited at best! I seldom offered them any assistance in that area, thinking that they would do much better without my help! We were required to design, saw and solder a piece of metal jewelry. My design was pretty basic, not too fabulous. Unfortunately, the steps involved in creating the jewelry didn’t require much mental concentration, which allowed the girls opportunities to continue their sport of ridicule and abuse.
This was a class that was an elective, not a strict, quiet academic atmosphere, so the teacher did not closely supervise every conversation. His job was to make sure that the students didn’t use their sharp saws on the school equipment or other students, and to supervise the soldering process, which involved blowtorches! Verbal abuse at one student table wasn’t high on the priority list of concerns! In the grand scheme of life, I didn’t really think that it was the teacher’s responsibility to deal with the nastiness of two 13-year-old girls. There was, however an important object in the classroom, on the teacher’s desk: a Bible. This was 1970, a public school in Wisconsin, and this teacher kept a Bible on his desk in the art classroom. As hard as it was to endure the verbal, and eventual physical, abuse at the hands of two students, the Bible reminded me that I was not alone in that classroom; my Savior was there, and He would never leave me or forsake me. I had a strong, loving family that was always supportive, a church that made me feel affirmed and loved, and I knew that whatever I went through was, in the larger scheme of life, going to be okay. Forgiving these girls was something I needed to do, not because they asked for it or thought they needed it, but because I would be crippled spiritually and emotionally if I did not forgive them. I know that forgiveness has happened, because historically the event occurred, but emotionally it was a non-event.
I haven’t closely involved with children in that age group other than my own three children, but I ALWAYS encouraged them to be kind to everyone, and to NEVER be involved in any sort of bullying. My experience was hard at the time, but I know others have gone through much worse, and my heart goes out to them. NO ONE should ever have to endure such treatment, especially vulnerable adolescents who may not have the support system of self-esteem to survive such cruelty. “In You, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in Your righteousness.” Psalm 31:1
Faith Through the Journey 