Faith Through the Journey

The past week has been one full of a variety of emotions for me. Mother’s Day is always special, filled with many memories of my childrens’ lives. I felt very honored as all three of them remembered me with words of love and thanks, and I was reminded again that motherhood is the hardest, best job in the world.

The other event which occupied most of last week was the “departure” of our youngest daughter, Courtney, from home to begin her first full-time job following her graduation from Texas A&M University last August. She has been diligently searching and applying for dozens of jobs while working part-time in both Houston and College Station for the past nine months. Those cities are about 3 hours from our home in San Antonio, so she was still able to come in and out of town for visits. We’ve gotten used to having her here every few weeks or months, and of course all of her “stuff” still lived at our house!

We have experienced the “letting go” process with our older two children, both the initial times of leaving for college and then as they officially moved out and established their own homes. I think it’s a very good thing for young married couples to live at least a little distance from their families because it teaches them to depend on each other and become truly “one” apart from their parents. While there are adjustments, they do have one another.

Our sweet and very independent daughter Courtney is moving nearly 2,000 miles away from us, and although we are very excited for the fabulous career opportunity she has ahead of her, as her parents we have experienced moments of angst. We have no doubt that she will succeed beyond any expectations, and we’ve joked for years about the amount of independence she has. Because she was the youngest child in our family, we didn’t hover over her because we knew she would be fine (although some of her friends’ parents probably wondered about us!). As Courtney sorted and packed her worldly goods, including a thorough cleaning out of many years’ accumulation in her bedroom, I couldn’t help feeling somewhat anxious. Had we prepared her to REALLY be on her own, so far away from us? Had we taught her the important values of life and how to stand up for her convictions?

I thought about the words to a song that has been sung at some “departing” events over the years, “Friends” by Michael W. Smith. Of course, our daughter is much more than a friend, but the words were very poignant and applicable at this time: “Packing up the dreams God planted in the fertile soil of youth, can’t believe the hopes He’s granted means a chapter in your life is through. But we’ll keep you close as always, it won’t even seem you’ve gone; ’cause our hearts in big and small ways will keep the love that keeps us strong. With the faith and love God’s given springing from the hope we know: We will pray the joy you’ll live in is the strength that now you show.” 

“Though it’s hard to let you go…” is one of the final lines of the song, and the one I kept thinking of as the week progressed. Yes, we’ve let Courtney go before–on mission trips to the Bahamas and to Africa, to college, and other trips where she wasn’t with us for longer periods of time–but this time it’s different. When the movers take out the rest of her belongings, she will really be gone, establishing her own home across the country. She will always be welcome in our home, as are our other children and their spouses (as long as they bring the grandchildren!), but I know the reality is that she won’t live here as her primary home. As we prayed with her before she left, my husband spoke the blessing to her as he has done since she was small: “Now may the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.”  There was not a dry eye in the house, but that’s ok…there were tears of love, joy, and anticipation of a new adventure for all of us! Courtney, you are deeply loved!