Faith Through the Journey

Once again, I am seeing that recovery is not seamless. There are good hours, and then there are challenging ones. I can understand why the medical profession tells us that it usually takes 4-6 weeks until they can pronounce us “released and recovered”. Some days it changes from hour to hour, and just when you think you can do normal life again, there it is again: that pain that says it’s not over yet. All of the various layers of this process have to be taken back  one at a time. First, there is the surgical recovery, the internal healing that has to take place, and there are many sites within me that have been sutured. My outer incision is doing very well, so that may be the least of my worries!

Another piece of the recovery is how we have to deal with the Crohn’s disease that is still present. That will be on hold until I am officially released by the surgeon. My medication regimen will be by induction, starting with a certain dose and then going up on each one until the levels are at full dosage. They, too, will take some time to be effective. More waiting…

The last piece is the one I am looking forward to, probably more than any other because it should yield (hopefully!) quick results. I will begin to back off of my heavy pain medication, and hopefully titrate off of it in a timely manner. Sudden stoppage would make me QUITE uncomfortable, so I understand the compassion of doing this gradually. After trying every variety of these drugs for a year and a half, I am VERY READY to get them out of my system!

So, once again, we wait… You would think I’d be getting better at this! I do know that I am less sore as I move, and I can get out of bed or out of a chair more easily. Progress! My desire is to stay in this “waiting” place, working through each step and looking for positive results that may be gradual but yet very real.

 A couple of verses came to mind as I pondered both trouble and waiting. I am so very glad for all the verses I memorized as a child and an adult, and also all the Bible courses I have taken or taught over the years. John 16:33 says: “I’ve told you all this so that trusting Me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (The Message)  Things will never be perfect here, and as much as I want to have a “whole” body again, it will never be perfect because it will die one day. I am, however, looking forward to the new one I’ll get in heaven!  And as to waiting, Psalm 27:14 says: “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” I do want to be a good “waiter”, for if the Lord has me here, I don’t want to waste all this valuable learning time! How many times have people said “If only I had more time…” So then, this time is really a gift from the Lord.

“Lord, help me to stay in this place and learn all you want me to, and then let me use those lessons to encourage others.”